Dear Congressman Weiner,
I loved the photo you sent… “Large. Cape. Tights.” Phew! I loved the other photos too. Quite the acrobat. I’m so aroused right now that I want to confess. I am not in fact a mere nubile female. Get this: I’m a hairy-arsed, amply tattooed, amply endowed, amply qualified agent of The Axis of Evil. Iran, North Korea, Belgium…specifics don’t matter.
Please explain to me how stupid I am because I don’t understand why Americans worry that your interwebthing could be hacked and get you blackmailed. What is this ‘hacking’ hocuspocus ? I just enrolled on Twitter with a picture of Princess Carrie Fisher and fished for you. Capiche? No hacking, just fishing. So easy. My colleagues do the same with all your politicians. Some lasting friendships have occurred.
Anyhoot here’s the thing. I need some information….